Don Shagnastie
Donald "Don" Shagnastie (born 1942) was an ex-CIA agent who took on the form of a flying shark after being crippled. He was found dead on the shore of Jensen Beach, FL. Early life Not much is known about Don Shagnastie's upbringing, besides some various facts. He was born in New Braunfels, Texas to Charles and Margaretti Shagnastie, who had reportedly "ji,mped" out of the hospital window upon Don performing the cursed "black jitterbug boogaloo". He was put up for adoption and taken up by a black couple. He had been reported to be fairly violent at school, from various sources. He graduated and went on to study "Plucket Crime" at a cheap FUCKING community college. Time in the CIA In April of 1970, through moving through police ranks, Shagnastie eventually joined the Central Intelligence Agency. He retired in 1989 due to a crippling injury. He had joined to reportedly to "hunt down the man who flacked a giant shelligaloo". The meaning of this is still unknown, but under countless mumblings during operations from 1970-1989 overheard from his partners, he hadn't succeeded during his 19 years of service. He was known to be very unforgiving and refined with his assignments, and had felt guitly when he would rarely fail a mission, which induced excessive consumption of honey mixed with gasoline and his own urine and viewings of M*A*S*H*. It gave him "a reason to not fling himself off the Slapster Edge". Cripping injury in 1988 In November 1988, on a mission in northwestern Germany, Shagnastie's partner Cornicus L. Moon went rogue and shot Shagnastie in the lower back in a hotel room, where he was left to suffer while Moon got away. Shagnastie was lucky that a maid was crossing by the room, and he was later transported to a hospital and stayed there for three months before doctors determined that he was crippled for life. Moon was later arrested and put on death row for compromising information about "mysterious lasagna", while Shagnastie was transported back to Washington D.C. in February 1989 and took on an early retirement, due to his disability. He later moved back to his hometown of New Braunfels, Texas. Shark transformation After leaving the CIA in 1989, Shagnastie stayed with his close friend Ashton Mackey in his hometown until December 1991, when he decided that to complete his final mission, he must assume the form of a flying shark. His request was run by a biology corporation in early 1992, and they had accepted his request to form the body of a shark with wings. A year later, an operation was performed to place his brain into the flying shark project, that resembled a giant seagull (2 meters long, 1.6 meters high) with a shark head. In this body, he could both take to the sea and the sky, which was originally at his request for unknown reasons. Before the operation, he had said his final goodbyes and wished his friend Ashton "a great journey", who had later disappeared in 1998 and hasn't been found to this day. The operation was a success and he was let free two days after being held in captivity to test if the new body was fully functional. At his request, his human body was cremated and buried at sea in the Pacific Ocean. Final mission and death Not much was heard or seen of Shagnastie from that day in 1993 besides several returns to New Braunfels, until 2015, 22 years later when the body was identified on the shores of Jensen Beach, Florida on March 18th, 2015, where an autopsy proved he died of unknown causes. A complete description of his final mission was unknown, only bits and pieces that call for the death of someone who had something he wanted, and was unrelated to his work in the CIA. The fact that he did or didn't complete this mission by the time he was shot is unknown. There has some been speculation among his former co-workers that it didn't involve any loose ends with his work in the CIA, and it was the reason he had joined the agency. But to this day, it is unknown. THESWEGONE WAS HERE